Tuesday, May 24, 2011

So raising your kid without a 'gender?' Blasphemy!

Recently there was a family in Canada who decided not to disclose the gender of their third child to family or outsiders in an effort to allow their child to define their gender on their own. They had apparently done this for their previous two children as well with some success. You can read one of the articles at faux news here.

Naturally, I like to think this is a good thing. There are innate characteristics of the sexes that we can define through research, though sometimes, the physical sex and the gender don't match up, so it's a good thing to be open minded about the perception that your child has on themselves.

Some people seem to dislike this idea, mainly the 'pro-family' (who isn't pro-family?) organizations. Why we care what they think is beyond me, but naturally faux news had the need to ask them even after psychologists have expressed their not-so-concerned attitude about diminishing the gender signals a child receives.

My guess is that these 'pro-family' organizations have a problem with how these parents are raising their child because it doesn't fit into the perfect little mold of how people should act. When a person is not definable into black and white terms, these sort of people get scared. It's the typical fearful-of-change we're seeing, and they should be afraid. The reality is, people are learning that there is no 'he/she.' Gender roles are blurring slowly (very slowly some days) and LGBT youth are becoming more accepted. I think that with that, we're accepting men who are feminine but not gay (still a long way from that), women who are assertive and powerful, and all the things in between. What does this do to the 'pro-family' organizations and the people who control them? My assumption is that the people in control of these groups have the need to control others for their own self-gratification. They're self-important, egotistical assholes who balk at the idea of some group or another gaining a foothold without their permission. It's not just these organizations either. Others, like them, will express their disgust due to this one family not following the controlled rules that defines their predictable community.

Seriously though...why do we care about this one family in Canada? Who is it who leaked out what one family, who isn't harming their child, has done to reduce the biased gender signals sent into their child's brain? Honestly, I'd disown the family member who did it (if they did), and cut off any friends, largely because this is not the world's business. Last I checked, the only time it's of concern is when the child is being harmed in some way. Since there isn't much research on this sort of thing (it's probably too progressive to do much research on yet), we can't say for sure if it is or isn't harmful. So shut the fuck up and leave them alone.

Personally...I agree with them. If the kid wants to wear pink and prance around in ballet, even as a male, more power to him. If it's a girl and she wants to wear overalls and work on cars, I'm down with that. And any other combination of gender norms you can think of...yeah I'm down with that too.

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